


Relieved

by IvanW



Series: Stand-Alone Stories [53]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bad Missions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, New Relationship, One Shot, Stoic Vulcans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 09:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Spock has a very bad day.This is the companion piece toCompromised





	Relieved

Jim was honestly completely exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to remove his ripped shirt—how did that keep happening anyway—take a long hot shower, and then crawl into bed for a few hours.

It had been another mission gone horribly wrong. It was supposed to be a simple diplomatic meeting on a fairly straightforward, easygoing planet wanting to join the Federation. It had been anything but easy and three members of his crew had lost their lives. Jim had a million reports to do too. Okay, not really, but a few, and as far as he was concerned those could all wait until he had gotten some sleep.

But first, he needed to make a quick stop at the medbay.

He found Bones scanning a tricorder over one of the surviving members of the landing party.

“How’s he doing?” Jim asked as he stepped up to the biobed and the unconscious lieutenant.

“Better. I’ve got him sedated and the burns are healed.” Bones lowered the tricorder and gazed at Jim. “You look like you were run over by a hover car.”

“I feel a little like it, too,” Jim admitted.

Bones gestured to an empty bed nearby with a flick of his head. “I’ve got a bed with your name on it if you’d care to stay.”

“No thank you. Nothing wrong with me that a few hundred hours of sleep won’t cure.”

“And eat something too, will ya? Get out of medbay before I change my mind and get you into that bed.”

Jim fluttered his fingers in a wave and departed the medbay before Bones could indeed change his mind.

When he reached the corridor that led to his quarters he was surprised to see Uhura apparently waiting for him outside his door.

“Lieutenant.”

He accessed his quarters and she followed him in.

“Captain, we need to talk.”

He turned to face her. “I gathered that.”

“It’s Spock. He’s really upset and—”

“Wait, what? Upset?”

She made no attempt to hide the rolling of her eyes. “Ensign Davers was his protégé. She was on the landing party because Spock asked her to so they could study the wildlife. She was very excited as it was the first time she’d ever been allowed to go down to a planet.”

Jim frowned. “And the loss of her life was terrible. I know.”

“Spock feels incredible guilt and is sad, Captain. He wasn’t only her mentor but also her friend. She shared stories of her family with him.”

“I didn’t know that,” Jim said.  And he felt like maybe he should have known. After all Spock was—

“Look,” she said, her voice softening. “In the past, I would offer him comfort, but he no longer wants that from me, he wants it from you.”

“He didn’t ask me for it or even tell me.”

She snorted. “He wouldn’t. Ever. Spock wants to make _you_ happy, Captain. He’s all about your welfare.” She made a face. “Sometimes to the detriment of his own.”

His frown deepened. “If this is about him risking his life on—”

“It’s not,” she interrupted quickly. “There’s never a time he won’t choose you over himself and I accept that. But I’m asking you to give him the comfort he would never ask for.”

Slowly Jim nodded. “Where is he?”

“On the bridge.” Uhura shook her head. “Where he absolutely should not be right now.”

“Okay.” Jim blew out a breath. “Let me just change this shirt and I’ll go. Can you tell Scotty I need him to take over?”

She smiled. “Yes, I’ll tell him. And thank you for listening. I didn’t think you would.”

“Gee thanks.”

“You’re just new to all this,” Uhura told him. “Real relationships. And reading Spock.”

He almost stuck his lip out petulantly. “Maybe you should comfort him.”

She sighed. “He doesn’t want _me_ , dummy. I told you, he wants it from you. I’ll see you on the bridge.” She eyed him. “You look like you got run over by a hover car.”

Jim rolled his eyes and watched her exit his quarters.

Fifteen minutes later, after a very quick sonic shower and with a new uniform shirt in place, Jim stepped onto the bridge.

He shook his head at Chekov when he opened his mouth to announce Jim’s arrival. Sure enough Spock sat ramrod straight in the captain’s chair. Jim was glad to see Scotty standing, waiting, over by Uhura’s station.  He nodded at both of them and went over to the captain’s chair.

“Captain,” Spock said, barely hiding his look of surprise. He got out of the chair. “I recall your advising you intended to rest.”

“Commander, you are relieved of command.”

Spock blinked at him. Tiny frown lines appeared near his mouth.

“Scotty, you have the con.”

“Aye, Captain.”

“Mister Spock, you’re with me.” Jim headed for the turbolift, with absolute certainty Spock would follow. He did. The doors closed upon them.

“Captain, I am at a loss to explain your actions to relieve me of duty.”

“You don’t need to be on duty right now, Spock.”

“I assure you I am perfectly capable of fulfilling my obligations and do not need sleep for another eight point four hours.”

Jim nodded. “I know.”

The doors opened onto the officers’ deck and Spock followed Jim out.

Jim bypassed his own quarters and went straight to Spock’s. He accessed and opened Spock’s door without a word and again Spock simply followed him inside.

“If you are aware I am capable of my duties then I further fail to see—”

“Shh,” Jim said, then stepped into Spock’s very personal space and framed Spock’s face with his hands.

“Oh,” Spock said. “You require comforting after the mission. I apologize, Jim. It should have occurred to me.”

He bit back a weary sigh. “No, Spock. I don’t. I’m okay.”

He blinked. Then blinked again. “But you look like you have been run over—”

“By a hover car. Yeah. I’ve heard.” Jim rubbed his thumb across Spock’s jaw. “This isn’t about me, Spock. This is about you.”

“Jim—”

“What do you need?”

“I do not need anything.”

“No. That’s not going to work with me.” Jim searched his brown eyes and saw the strange blankness there. “Victoria Davers.”

Spock’s expression did not change. “What about her?”

“Spock, I know you cared about her.”

“She was an efficient officer and a brilliant scientist.”

“No,” he whispered. “You were helping her. Giving her advice. You suggested her for the mission.”

“And she is dead,” Spock said flatly.

“That was not your fault.”

“She would not have been on the mission if I had not included her, Captain, so it is indeed my responsibility.”

Jim almost gave the Starfleet speech about how she knew the risks like they all do and blah blah blah. He didn’t want to hear it himself let alone say it. “Being included in the landing party because you wanted her there was incredibly exciting and fulfilling to her, Spock. I know it’s a cliché to say she died doing what she loved to do, but in this case she really did. She did everything right, just as you knew she would, but sometimes, no matter what we do right, any of us, something goes wrong anyway. And it wasn’t her fault or yours. It was only the fault of the one who fired the shot at her, Spock. Logically you know that.”

His lashes lowered. “I am failing to be logical about this.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know. The death of someone you cared about is never logical. And that’s good.”

“How?”

“We should never become numb to it,” Jim said softly. ”It’s easy in the day to day operations of this ship to forget that there are hundreds of lives onboard, living and breathing and wishing. None of them should be forgotten. Or become just another death.”

Spock closed his eyes, his arms suddenly coming around Jim, gripping him very tight. Jim didn’t protest. Spock leaned in close to Jim’s hair, inhaling softly.

“Though I feel sorrow for the untimely death of Ensign Davers,” Spock said after a while. “It also makes me think of you.”

“Me?”

“Your mortality. How easily it could have been you who was killed. You have already died once. Almost died more times than I care to analyze.” Spock trembled a little and Jim squeezed him. “I wonder sometimes why caring for someone must lead to such pain.”

Jim nodded against him. “And if it’s even worth it.”

“Yes.” He felt Spock hesitate. “I-I miss her.”

“Davers?”

“I will miss Victoria,” Spock replied. “But…in this instance I refer to my mother.”

“Your mother?” And then Jim’s world tilted a little. “Oh God. Oh, Spock. Sweetheart. I didn’t even think. Today, it’s-it’s today isn’t it?”

Another anniversary of Spock’s mother’s death and the destruction of Vulcan.  

“Yes.”

His whispered hoarse response broke Jim’s heart. He lifted Spock’s face to his and kissed him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 Spock clung to him even more. And Jim wondered why it took Uhura to tell him what Spock needed. He vowed to do better from now on.

“Why don’t we get ready for bed?” Jim asked after a while.

“I am not sleepy.”

“Maybe not, but we could lay next to each other for a while. Just listening to each other’s heartbeats, breaths. Know that we made it through another one. Together.”

Spock exhaled and pulled back to look at Jim, their eyes meeting. “Saying that I like you very much does not seem enough right now.”

Jim smiled. “No? What would you like to say, sweetheart?”

“That you are las'hark. My heart. My everything.”

“I love you, Spock. So much.” Jim took Spock’s hand and kissed his fingers. “Come. Let’s go to bed. I think we both need this.”


End file.
